Saturday, July 12, 2008

Malayalee a.k.a Mallu

The funniest and funkiest word these days is "Mallu". At one point it was "sardar's"....like "sardar ka barah bhaj gaya" was a general terminology in school days.Now we mallu's have taken over the mantle. You wanna find one in the group, its easy wait until he speaks english.I remember my school english teacher Kurup Sir made a funny statement at our mallu-ite pronunciation. He loved british english more than his wife and kids.The extra effort he takes to pronounce each and every word would tickle our humour bone. Infact he was our comedian in all our skits and mimicries.Now i understand why he was stern on that point.

Once out of college, i hear my friends speaking english and compare it with mine...man we guys are funny. But may be this mind set to laugh at ourselves makes us stand out of the crowd. We speak fast, we give too much importance to vowels especially "O". If there was no "O" in english we would better learn portugese.My ILP co-ordinator Shainu varghese tried very hard to make me say 5 words in english properly. The whole class was laughing, but shainu was in no mood to give up.Atlast when i made it, the look on his face was like "thera kuch nahi hone waala". A sympathetic look at a loser to say the least. Now a days even movies have started taking a dig us at malayalee's(Hyderabadi Zaffrani Biriyani in "Cheeni Kum"). Man, i love that movie coz of this.

Enough said about our english, another featuristic characteristic in us is our liking for football. You see a football rolling you can expect a mallu around it.Every wednesday i play a league, after every match i meet up a new malayalee stud(stud as in imagine a malayalee stud with lungi). Yeah and we are quite interested in meeting another mallu.I dont see this in others except us and gul-tee's(dont confuse it with plain-T's or Striped-T's just simply Gul-T's aka Telugu). I have met people running across the aisles of Walmart and Kroeger hearing a mallu voice. Today coincidentally one of my colleague sitting 20 yards away came to me hearing me speaking malayalam on phone.First question is "Malayalee aanalle?"(I think you are a malayalee?) If the answer is yes, then "Naattil Evideya?" (from which part in kerala?).

Once i read in an article that most regionalistic people ever are spaniards, we indians are not back either.We have tamilian annachi's who form a core tamilian group speaking tamil alone even if others in the group dont understand (islandophobia) its very difficult to get in or get out of this group. Kannadiga's who speak hindi and hate tamilians coz of Cauvery river issue (this hatred is the bread and butter of the media and politicians). We have the big annayaru from andhra who them selves are split into Telenganas,Andhrites,Hyderabadians. And we mallu's we tend to dissolve into any group easily, coz most of us speak tamil and hindi.If you know these two you are a bread winner in bharat mahaan.

Another thing we own is communism and unwanted ideologies. Communism though is not unique, we share it with our fish eating brothers from bengal.Any mallu you pick will have an ideology and political principle of his own ( requirement is he/she should have done their college in kerala). Ideology strictly adhering to political ones though, A mallu sitting on Tea stall with a beedi in his hand and reading newspaper aloud is a very common scene in Kerala.

Back to our slang, we cannot just leave our 'O' and 'T' (mostly it will be "ttt"). Once i used the word 'honoured' which still no one understood, i had to virtually write it down in a paper and tell them. Think of a scenario when a Mallu becomes the PM of our country. His oath taking will be the most funniest video in Youtube.
I, OmanaKuttan Menon , do solemnly affirm that I will faithfully execute the office of Prime Minister of Repulic of India and will to the best of my ability preserve, protect and defend the Constitution and the law and that I will devote myself to the service and well-being of the people of Republic of India.
Imagine a mallu saying Some thing like this.

Enough said, my point is we are a funny lot. But bring it on we are just loving the leg pulling.

Oll the Besttt...

12 comments:

Sreejit said...

Zimbly Wonderful!!

I think, the best part abt us is that we can get along in any group and we are found everywhere in the World.

GOD's Own ppl.

cacofonix said...

You are third in the list of my school seniors who have written a blog on this topic.
Personally, i feel accents are just accents. If you feel all british people pronounce all words the same way, leave aside the right way, terribly wrong. French speak english, irish do, germans do, spainards do, bengalis do, punjabi's do, biharis do. None of these people go with dictionary pronounciations. Why mallu accent gets noticed : the percent of people who speak english amongst mallus is large. We hear it from an average man. And he, from a very normal middle class- small town background, would obviously take time to gain a foriegn language accent, compared to a city boy, who is already exposed to it. Nevertheless, nice post. Continue blogging.

dewdrops said...

hai your blog is simply coool............

omachappuzha said...

adipoli...........

B said...

Yes.. we malayalees have learnt to laff at ourselves..
My mom still insists on calling my fren Deepak as Deebug
And no one can correct her as she is zimbly rite :)

Anonymous said...

A Mallu female (from the heart of Kerala) went for a job interview for the post of a SECRETARY. When the manager saw the Mallu's colorful attire and gold and well oiled uncombed jet black hair, his mind was screaming, "NOT THIS WOMAN."

Nevertheless, he still had to entertain the Mallu. So he told her "If you could form a sentence using the words that I give you, then may be I will give you a chance! The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK."

The enthusiastic Mallu lady thought for a while and said : "I hear the phone GREEN GREEN GREEN, then I go and PINK up the phone, I say YELLOW......BLUE's that? WHITE did you say? Aiye, Wrong number ........Don't PURPLELY disturb people and don't call BLACK, ok? Thank you."

The Manager Fainted................

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Tata SA said...

English words murdered by Malayalees:

kangaroo (the worst offended word malayalees pronounce as “kanGAROO” instead of “KANgaroo”)

mixed, fixed (pronounced as 'miksed', 'fiksed' instead of 'miksd', 'fiksd')

bear, pear (pronounced as ‘biyar’, ‘piyar’ instead of ‘bare’ and ‘pare’)


beer (pronounced as 'biiiir' instead of biye')

Queen (prounounced as “kyuun” instead of “kween”)

form (pronounced as ‘farum’ instead of “fom”)

biennale (pronounced as “binale” instead of “bienale”)

place names – Ohio, Seattle, Utah (pronounced as “ohiyo, seetl, ootha” instead of “ohayo, siyatl, yuta”

Tortoise (pronounced as ‘tortois’ instead of “totis” )

turtle (pronounced as ‘turrrtl’ instead of “tutl” )

Mascot Hotel (pronounced as “muskat HOtel” instead of “MAScot hoTEL”

heart (pronounced as ‘hurrt’ instead of “haat”)

bass (pronounced as ‘baas’ instead of “base”)

twitter (pronounced as “tyooter” instead of “twiter”

birthday (pronounced as “birthaday” instead of “buthdei”

garage (pronounced as “garej” instead of “gaRAZH”)

chassis (pronounced as “chasis” instead of “shasi”)

February (pronounced as “fibruari” instead of “februari”)

Tata SA said...

English words murdered by Malayalees:

kangaroo (the worst offended word malayalees pronounce as “kanGAROO” instead of “KANgaroo”)

mixed, fixed (pronounced as 'miksed', 'fiksed' instead of 'miksd', 'fiksd')

bear, pear (pronounced as ‘biyar’, ‘piyar’ instead of ‘bare’ and ‘pare’)


beer (pronounced as 'biiiir' instead of biye')

Queen (prounounced as “kyuun” instead of “kween”)

form (pronounced as ‘farum’ instead of “fom”)

biennale (pronounced as “binale” instead of “bienale”)

place names – Ohio, Seattle, Utah (pronounced as “ohiyo, seetl, ootha” instead of “ohayo, siyatl, yuta”

Tortoise (pronounced as ‘tortois’ instead of “totis” )

turtle (pronounced as ‘turrrtl’ instead of “tutl” )

Mascot Hotel (pronounced as “muskat HOtel” instead of “MAScot hoTEL”

heart (pronounced as ‘hurrt’ instead of “haat”)

bass (pronounced as ‘baas’ instead of “base”)

twitter (pronounced as “tyooter” instead of “twiter”

birthday (pronounced as “birthaday” instead of “buthdei”

garage (pronounced as “garej” instead of “gaRAZH”)

chassis (pronounced as “chasis” instead of “shasi”)

February (pronounced as “fibruari” instead of “februari”)

Tata SA said...

some more:
auto (pronounced as "aaato" instead of "otto")

one (pronounced as "onn" instead of "wun")

divorce (pronounced as "daiverse" instead of "divors")

Tata SA said...

pizza (pronounced as "pisa" instead of "pitza")
our (pronounced as "avar" instead of "aue")
flour (pronounced as "flower" instead of "flaue")
alarm (pronounced as "alarum" instead of "alaam")
volume (books) (pronounced as "vaalyam' instead of "volyum")

Ravi John said...

very well written. Can relate to this very much.

Here is an interesting link
http://www.behance.net/gallery/The-Malayalee-Alphabet/9958061

Love to hear what you think!
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