Monday, April 7, 2008

Soul Searching in my own way..

After reading my blogs many of my dear friends have termed me "psycho", "mental" etc etc... Some like my blogs but hate the seriousness looming around it. The best was my buddy raghu asked "What happened to you?? Are you alright?"...Never in my wildest imaginations i expected this question from him, it sounded very funny at that mooment though. "Shabbu" they know is a street joker with a sarcastic tone. He can enact anybody but can never put on a serious robe. The funny thing is as many of you know is that am not as serious as i sound in my blogs. One of my friend she calls me a 'kiddo' coz of this bubbly person i am. I always hated to be serious, for anything in life. I preferred the fun part of life always liberated and carefree, "No Strings Attached". But am sure with time a lot of changes are happening around as well as in me.

Solitude is one thing you dont want to bring in your life, this makes you think about your actions...what i term as "Soul-Searching". Life here is nothing different, though i have a lot of interesting colleagues and friends the solitude part is annexed to it. I am enjoying this period in my life. A slow transiton where every once in a while i think about my self a lot. Sometimes in a very critical manner. Did i hurt somebody by my words/actions today?? Am i too lazy in maintaining relationships? Was that the correct way to talk to somebody?A hundreds of questions like this bombarding in my empty head. This is an essence of yoga where a yogi transcends himself to a different world, here materialistic pleasures are disregarded at the atomic level. Me?? Am no different, forget the yogi postures. My mind plays these funny games too. In some sorts i have started liking this loneliness as it is giving me a better outlook towards life day-in-day-out. Now when these untraceable pulses of imaginations are imprinted on a blog it looks crazy.

So does that mean, i need to curb the emptiness and loneliness by looking out for a life partner, or for that matter a soul partner? Well really, i dont know. If there is a hiatus in the world , one sure must be between your heart and mind. Heart asks and mind cant answer. A state of derailment, when everything within you is bizarre. I am damn sure, everyone asks these sort of questions to their mind. But how many are able to find the answers?? God only knows.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

It took me sometime to get to your blog.Even had to break some of my own rules..but the heck..i have always been the first one to break my own rules....
And I am glad that I did!

Yes so do I know this guy who does look quite a carefree soul or tickles the funny bone at will? Of course I do. But then do I know this other guy who is 'soul searching'...now that's deep. Same guy?? What are the chances? Not bleak must say.
There is more to a face! There is a heart! And where there is a heart, there are emotions.
And what better way to connect to oneself and sort your emotions? Solitude!!!

Sabarish Chandrasekharan said...

anaonymous??? please feel free to share your name buddy :)

whoami said...

Hi sabbb...great to read this one.
The very first day i got introduced to you i was sure about your nature.

The very nature of human is to feel the silence observe the Solitude.

Whatever answers you are looking for. are the really the one which all of us search for entire life..may be this time being in US away from everyone..you got time to think on it....these questions were there before and will be there forever....

You can engage your self in some activities...you can remove your lonliness...you can make yourself busy..but whats the point...questions reamins same as they were....un-answered...

Best way will be face the truth face it like a man..like soldier...like a yogi... like a "Shabbu"....search...fight..till you get answers...till...you win...

Whats the point in understaing everything thats outside...when you can't understand whats happening inside .........

Raghu said...

i am not sure whether you remember but a couple of years ago when i was sailing through the turbulent and rough waters i had some one asking me the same questions.. and i was not amazed.... now a couple of years down the line when my best buddy has some issues then tell me wont i get upset as too what has happened. Nothing has changed its all the same its just the sequence of events in life that has made you get that attitude of the whole world conspiring against you or rather that god sitting comfartably in his abode is looking at you through magnifying glasses and is making you suffer. No Nothing like that. Believe me, i have been through worse and out of experience the major issue that is pestering you is your lonliness, and maybe some guilt for something done in the pages of history of which you can do nothing about. So stop regretting and just as ashok used to say to perk me up when i was down " the future is bright... the future is orange....." dont know why and what is its significance but when i think of him and this statement i get energetic so you have to find solace and happiness in some way or the other.

Dhanya V said...

its today i read this post of urs. Its always good to have a thought over emotions and the deeds one does or the words one uses for others. At times ever individual has to go thru this phase of life where such qns arises in mind.when u get such thoughts, no harm in spending time and thinking. Theres a saying "60 MINUTES OF THINKING ON THE SAME TOPIC/MATTER CAN MAKE A PERSON ABNORMAL".

The funda of life is "Jab Koi baath haath is nikal jaaye or kuch bhi teek na kage to so jao.";)

N then my realisation is v wud always need a person in life to share everything if v r living in a world of pleasures.

Love to hear what you think!
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